Please don't TELL me to sell my quilts!

Ok, I debated writing this thread because I don't like to be negative. BUT...once again my m-i-law visited and when I showed her my latest quilt I got the 'you've got to DO something with these'...she is ALL about money and even though I'm sure she is being flattering in a way, I have told her I do not want to sell my quilts. Why must she say it EVERY time? (And other people do this too). It was the same about my baking...or my cards...or anything else I've done. She struck a nerve because when people say I should sell my quilts it makes me feel that they are suggesting it's a waste of time if I don't make money from them. I'm sure Ann Landers (remember her?!?!) would say they are but-in-skys and they should mtob! And I KNOW there is no way SHE (m-i-l) would pay $400+ for a quilt!!!!

I will talk to her privately next time (there was a whole room full of people at the time), as I did with my husband, to say 'please don't TELL me to sell my quilts' any more. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel like you think my creations are worthless unless they are sold. Why can't you just say they are lovely and why can't they just be for me to keep or give to my family? (btw...I haven't given her one). I'm sorry for venting but there really is no where else I can say this and maybe some of you feel the same. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I feel better already getting it off my chest until I can talk to her. :) Have a happy Saturday...I think I'll start a new quilt today! lol!!

P.S. Sandy, I bet you have a good, snappy answer!?

Have you ever thought about selling your quilts???? Seriously, my pet peeve is when someone askes me to make one for them. They have no idea what time and money it takes to do one. I could never sell a quilt, but I have given a number of them away.

I get that too from people. I explain the whole process of the cost of fabric, batting, and machine quilting, factor in my time and ask if they'd buy one for $500-$1000-$1500 and this shuts them up for awhile. Do all painters sell their paintings? Do all sculpters sell their sculptures? etc...

People have said that to me also, and I just say, "No, my skills aren't that good, I'm not ready yet.". You should ask your MIL how she would price one of your quilts. I'll bet she would way underestimate how much they cost to make. Then say, I'll sell you this for $400, or would you like for me to make one for you for a gift?

Quiting is a hobby. You don't just paint one picture or make one dress, you keep working on projects to perfect your skills, just like any other hobby. People just don't understand.

I agree...I don't think I would want to sell quilts. For me it would take all the fun out of it. I just like to make them out of love and to see the faces of those I give them, too. Not that there is anything wrong with selling them. It's just a personal preference.

Angie, maybe if you made a really cool one for her, she would see how special it is to receive such a gift of love. Then maybe she would understand why you are not selling them, but giving them to loved ones.

Then if she says it again, you could just thank her for the compliment and explain that making quilts is what you like to do to show your love to friends and family.

Your quilts are lovely. I always admire the creativity and quality of your work. :)

I've made baby quilts for people at work who are becoming grandparents for the first time -- a few people have asked me if they could pay me to make one for someone in their family -- they think this sounds like a good idea until I detail how much it costs for the fabric, thread, batting, and that amount doesn't include a penny for my time -- after I explain that they change their mind. They also REALLY appreciate the quilts that I give them -- unless you quilt you have no idea of the time and money that is invested in each quilt. Maybe your mother-in-law's comments are her way of complimenting your talent and she has no idea she is making you feel bad in the process.

I would simply say, "That's a good idea" and never do it. If you agree with them, there's no argument. If you need to repeat this the next time and the next time, keep doing it. The offender will eventually 'get it.' It's your life, live it the way you want.

I would say it is her way of complimenting your talent - that she thinks your quilts are "good enough" for someone to pay for. You do make marvelous quilts :)

I say do what makes you happy....you're the one making the quilts so you're the boss. I told my husband when I started this that I will not do custom quilts - for anyone. My brother saw my DH's camo quilt and he wants one, I'm going to make one for his birthday - but all he cares about is the camo - it's my choice on how I want to do it.

A snappy answer? Close to what Jean told you.

I would tell your MIL "I know! You have told me that several times, so I am hoping you like this one well enough to purchase it. I'm asking $750 and will take cash or a personal check."

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Originally Posted by Sandy Navas

A snappy answer? Close to what Jean told you.

I would tell your MIL "I know! You have told me that several times, so I am hoping you like this one well enough to purchase it. I'm asking $750 and will take cash or a personal check."

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That's good Sandy!

Quit showing her your quilts and avoid the subject when she is there. I wouldn't sell my either, but I love giving them away.

I know exactly what you mean. I also get a lot of "who is that for" from friends but not from family. My family knows that I make quilts because I am a quilter and that's what quilters do! We love it! It is our therapy, our passion, our art.

I have sold a few quilts and quilt tops and you know what I call them? "Regret Quilts." I almost always regret what I sell. I do love to give them away, though. I am also NOT going to agree ever again to making someone a quilt. I might do it anyway, but if I don't get to it right away I call it a "Guilt Quilt."

One idea I use is to say, "I won't be around forever and maybe a future grandchild or great-grandchild will love to have a quilt from me." This is really true. Wouldn't you love a quilt made by a great-grandmother or great-aunt? I envy those who have inherited quilts and I hope to leave enough quilts that that can be true of my family as well.

I got this from my MIL last night. What is it with the MIL's? I was told not to let my "hobby" take over my life and that maybe i should be doing something else with my time and I shouldn't put pressure on myself to make a quilt, blah, blah, blah, whatever.

Sometimes , ok alot, quilting is my escape. Sometimes my life just plain sucks, quilting helps me work through some things so that I'm not so emotional about something and see solutions in a logical way.... and then sometimes I just like a piece of pretty fabric, something pretty that I can touch and feel.

ok stepping off the soapbox... after all, I'm preaching to the choir. Going to work on a quilt that I have SOLD that has become a PIA....

kellie

In her own way, she is giving you the ultimate compliment. She is not devaluing your time or talent but rather she thinks your quilts are so good that people would buy them. Not a hobby quilt (like mine-full of mistakes, bad choices and a big learning curve), but a quilt that is beautiful, well made and worth buying. She is telling you that you do good! Smile!

We all get those types of comments after showing off our creations.. And our members here have given you some great advise and "come-backs", so I won't try to match anything they have advised.. Just know that we love your work and as a hobby it is fantastic way to "relax and let off steam"......

I once told an ex mother in law... well I could try to collect empty wine bottles, but I'd have to drink what was in them... (psst-she was very religious and didn't let liquor in her house)

Right on Sandy... mine would probably be a lot more crude... (well, not really,,, she is the MIL,, and i had the best, so family is family)... Angie is a sweet lady,,, i can tell from her baking video, and just being here..check her out on YouTube!!

That being siad... i've been there and done that so many time... and HAVE sold thngs... to people at rediculously low prices... because i KNOW they haven't a clue about it all... and wanted them to have it... I've even made thngs for people and they asked if they said..."can i tell them i made it"???? I say "sure"... whatever,,, you learn so much about people when they view and comment on your work.... really!!!
So here's my standard now....#WHEN THE PRESSURES ON, THE FUN IS GONE!!!
I live in a retirement comm... about 900 homes.. we are a great group... have 2 craft fairs per year.. i make things all year... (anything i feel like, just to try, or just to use up stuff).... then i have a table.. and put silly low prices on stuff... i sell most of it... and people love to shop... it's grab what you like... NO,,, i don't take orders... NO, you will not see another one... all is ONE of a kind... just whatever tickles my fancy...
And Angie... I would rather eat Cheerios and Noodles (note the carb coma food)... than get "paid what it's worth", or try to deal with a customer....
OH,, and ps.. when my kids were little and i stayed home with them,,, i made clothes for people,,, blocked and finished sweaters... hemmed pants... all of it.. and had comments like... ""oooo,,, could it be just a little longer,,, or could you press that again,,, or how about 3 of these in Pink!!!!.... All that ended up raking in about 25cents an hr.... in real time... but i was home with my kids and bought my DH his first Christmas Present (5bucks)... cause' i had to pay for it myself...
Sorry to babbel.. but i totally get where your coming from... Don't let her comment get to you SHE really doesn't know what she's saying!!!!:)

I've had people ask me why I don't sell them. I simply tell them that no one would want to pay the cost.Then I list fabric, batting, thread and approximate labor cost and ask if they want to buy a quilt for $400 or more. They don't normally ask again.

My brother in law always said about most all my craft stuff "You should sell this. Go into business." It wasn't him being pushy, it was him being excited about what I did. He even offered to set me up in business at one point. But when something becomes a "job" to me, it loses a lot of it's appeal.

Makes me think twice about wanting to start my own business. Maybe I'll just do it all for fun and have a pile of quilts in the corner.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sandy Navas

A snappy answer? Close to what Jean told you.

I would tell your MIL "I know! You have told me that several times, so I am hoping you like this one well enough to purchase it. I'm asking $750 and will take cash or a personal check."

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Birds of a feather snap back together.

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Originally Posted by K. McEuen

But when something becomes a "job" to me, it loses a lot of it's appeal.

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That's how I feel too. This is my HOBBY not my JOB - I already have one of those.

I always take it as a compliment!!!! ....and there ya go, Sandy hit the nail on the head!!!

I think it is a compliment, an annoying one, but just the same.
I have given most away, sold about 3 and can't bear to part with my
quilted children.

Whether or not you sell your quilts is strictly your business. Most people don't want to pay what a quilt (or any other hand-crafted item) is truly worth when you consider the $$ value of the time and effort you put into it.

Hello There! :)

I think I might have a cautionary tale for you...

I had a similar problem three years ago. I baked and made novelty cakes for friends and family and the local GAA (Gaelic football) team. Time and again I was advised (pressured!) to sell my cakes and people even took it upon themselves to give my number to strangers and told them to call me for a cake!

In my case, I wasn't as determined as you are. I buckled and said 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Because I felt awkward, I took small payment for my cakes, so of course I became very popular! It took a long time to claw back my privacy and get back to where I was when I baked for my own pleasure and the pleasure of those near and dear to me. However, my joy isn't what it was and I'm not sure that it ever will be.

I think you've been as firm as you possibly can be, without being rude. Clearly, there is no talking to this lady! Perhaps your Hubby could have a word? Shes his Mammy, after all!

And fair play to you for being true to your own heart. I wish I had been! (hugs)

Jenny x

You do need to talk to her about it privately. I have very rarely sold any thing I have ever made. They are yours to with what you want. No ones business but yours,. Keep them and love them, and if the time comes you want to give one away then do that.

Quilting shows my love of beauty. I love to see one of my quilts on a bed. I aim for a quilt of the month for my room. These beauties keep my eyes looking at my living space. When I was at home and young I was able to move into the "little boys" room. There were train, airplanes and automobiles on the wallpaper. I just stopped looking! These quilts help me over come this "blindness". I so enjoy looking at the work of my hands. I also enjoy the wonderful way the quilts feel when sleeping under them. It delights me. Will not sacrifice that joy for a sale.

Wow! I've been busy at the sewing machine most of the day and was so surprised at all the replies!!! Thank you everyone for great suggestions, wonderful words of advice and praise, and great shared stories of similar situations!!! I knew I wouldn't be alone in this one.

And Jenny, I totally know how you feel about the baking: I used to occasionally treat an acquaintance to a favourite cake because he made such a fuss and enjoyed them so much - it made me feel wonderful to surprise him now and then. But then one year he and his wife 'commissioned' me to do all their holiday baking for a party (she was under the impression I was a caterer...I'm not) and it was so much work and cost so much for me to make all these things, with my retail premium ingredients and domestic kitchen...and when it came time to pay they didn't have the money and it was sooo embarassing and awkward! NEVER again...and I haven't made that favourite cake since. Shame...

Oh, we have 'no-pay-ums' over here too, Angie! I hear that!

I just took a sneaky peek at your Album and am going to crawl into a hole and die. Your quilting is... I haven't the words. Please God, with practise, I might one day have one Hundreth of your talent!

You have a gift, it brings you great joy and is an expression of your love for those you hold dear. These are payment enough for ANYBODY! Take care, Angie. :)

I agree with Marebear's comment, I think she means it as a compliment. I have gotten those comments in the past about my cakes when I did them years ago as a hobby. People would say things like "wow, you should sell those because they look just like they came out of a bakery", I did start a business years after and I will tell you it takes alot of the fun out of it when you have to produce a product whether you feel like it or not.

I will just add this--I used to weave baskets. When things got stressful around here (three teenage daughters), my husband would say, "Honey, you need to make a basket". It was a form of therapy. I got the wise idea to start selling at the Farmer's Market. It was no longer fun or therapy. It was WORK. It was never the same. I think selling our quilts would be the same thing. We CREATE. We love fabric. It is therapy. It IS LOVE!!! I might one day have to sell quilts to buy groceries; but until I do, I will make them and love them and give them to people I love.

I have sold a few quilts and have had people ask me to make them one and they would pay. I don't do custom orders, I like to create my own in my own time. I hate feeling rushed and having everything examined with a microscope. If you want to buy a quilt this is what I have and this is what they cost.
As it has been said already, so many non quilters don't realize the time and effort that is put into a quilt let alone the cost. I make them because I love them and love to see what I have done when it's finished. I have a closet full and may put them up on my Etsy site later on, but they won't be cheap!!!! LOL!
Meanwhile I will just keep buying fabric and making more and more quilts......

It has been very interesting reading every ones comments, I would take it as a compliment if some one suggested I could sell my quilts - mind you the only one I have completely finished so far has been for my grand daughter but hopefully in the not to far distant I can get another one quilted

Enjoy your hobby do what makes you feel happy

Leonie

I have been asked this many times too. My husband would love it if I sold my quilts..lol..But I have to say and I don't know your mother in law but when people tell me this its a complement on how good they think you are. I don't think she means to be mean about it. Or they have the thought of Hey you could make some money on this thats how good you are..I always tell them if I start selling them then it becomes a job and I wouldn't want to do it anymore. I want to quilt when I want to quilt. Now I may let someone pay for all the fabric but I would never just sell them because I would worry that they might see this flaw or that flaw..lol..I know how mother in laws can be but if anyone else is saying the same thing to you believe me its a complement. My husband gets the same on the furniture he makes but he would never sell it either.

Sandy always has the bestest snappy answers. I would be like you. I don't make my quilties for the most part to sell and have learned after the onesie stress that I will not be doing any more commission work.

I have learned over the years of creating folk art and selling it are too different birds. Make what you like. If someone wants to buy it, give a price that you feel good about. If you want to keep it until whenever, keep it. I do think your MIL is probably at a loss because:
a.) she is motivated by money and you are not
b.) she truly doesn't understand the entire labor or love process
c.) she doesn't know how to give a complement
d.) all of the above

Blessings to you Angie.

I am new to this forum and I have not seen your quilts. I just know they are beautiful. People are funny. Sometimes I find family does not know how to express their admiration for a talent they do not have. My family and in- laws have said some pretty cutting things to me and I find they have no other way to communicate. It doesn't take away my feelings, it just helps to accept. I think you are right with telling her how you feel. This is just my opinion.

I know a few people that do not understand the purpose of doing things if there is no money to be earned for it.

I am certainly not that way!

I don't need to earn money to feel like I've accomplished something worthwhile.