My heart hurts as I read your post. I don't know you, haven't really been a part of this forum for long, but I do feel for you. Can't say I've had the same experiences, but I can say I have had crushing, overwhelming times and losses. God is good every day and I count on that. I hope you do, too. So very sorry for your sadness and for your past losses. Hope that your reunion, and the kindnesses from your forum friends, are able to pick your spirits up. Just words, perhaps, but I pray that tomorrow is a better day. May your next week be at least 10 times as happy as your past one was sad.